The Grub

Hurt me, wallop me, slap me, scold me
I want pain, I deserve punishment
If that's the best you can do
I'll take my business elsewhere
Wound me with your sally-stick
Make me feel better?
None of it, I tell you!
Who do you think you are sir?
Imposing your healing potions upon me
I've a good mind to pour salt in my wounds
My young fellow
Hit me with a hammer, spit on me
Urinate on my face
For I am worthless, you idiot