Traumacoaster

Panic shoots throughout my veins
Color draining from my face
Memories consume my brain
Then fill my skull with toxic waste
Spirit's crushed under the weight
Of my ever-growing shame
Trying to hold onto faith
But somehow it always escapes

Words are always left unsaid
Swarming 'round inside my head
Chose to swallow them instead
And let them writhe beneath my breast
Fake a smile for the press
While my insides tear to shreds
Staring in the camera's lens
Before I go Virginia Tech

I grit my teeth till they crack
When your gums run laps
Writing checks they can't cash
You're wearing wounds that don't last
Temporary scabs
And the ink's on your hands

When you look at the mess you've made
Are you proud to say your display is on point?
Afraid to let go
And lose the one excuse you have
When your path disappoints
You've locked yourself in
Tied the restraints
Resort to nothing less than null points
And you can't help but think about
The world that you miss
When you're not that voice

Oh how I've wished
It wouldn't come to this
But I'm desperate
To kill your innocence
Even if it
Means peeling back my skin
I'm your emotion exhibitionist
Now take a glimpse
At what makes us different
And don't resist
I'll try to make it quick
From leg to wrist
You will never win this trauma competition

I apologize
I guess I never recognized
Shame on me for thinking
You could ever sympathize
But I've identified
All the holes between the lines
Struggling to keep the words inside the leather's binds

I never wanted this to happen
I didn't plan on veering off the course before the end
And I never wanted this to happen
But here I am experiencing turbulence again
I swear I never wanted this to happen
I didn't plan on veering off the course before the end
And I never wanted this to happen
But here I am experiencing turbulence again

Dancing on the knife's edge
Singing with a tight chest
Laughing off your last breath
Live as if there's no life left

Cut yourself
Swallow shells
Let me help
Come on over
Cheap motels
Foul smells
Drop your belt
Hell is closer

Now that you're mine
Take a ride on the traumacoaster
Now that you're mine
Take a ride on the traumacoaster
Now that you're mine
Take a ride on the traumacoaster
Now that you're mine
Take a ride on the traumacoaster

Dancing on the knife's edge
Singing with a tight chest
Laughing off your last breath
Live as if you're dead