Beer Goggles

One Pump Chump

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    Came to the party on my own
    Didn't wanna leave alone
    So this one girl caught my eye
    Till I saw the size of her thighs
    It's too late she's coming my way
    So I guess I'll pretend I'm gay
    She said oh really have a beer
    Then she stuck her tongue in my ear

    And if I have another drink I think I'm gonna be sick
    But I know I can't be sober if I'm gonna touch this chick
    It's a shame that none of my friends can get Hallucinagens
    So I guess I'll have to use my beer goggles again

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    Now we're sitting on the couch
    And my cup tips toward my mouth
    Drain the bottle, hit the bong
    Makes each minute seem so long
    I take another trip to the tap
    Soon she's sitting on my lap
    And with all these drinks I've had
    That girl doesn't look so bad

    Now it's morning my head pounds
    Open my eyes and look around
    She's beside me in her bed
    And my arm's stuck under her head
    The night before seems such a blur
    Why did I go home with her?
    Before she wakes I gotta leave
    If I could only find my keys

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