I'm a famous clown in a flower crown
My friends are dictated by similar subscriber counts
My channel takes you through my bedroom routine
It's just between you and me and 100,000 other tweens

Don't care for money, don't care about the fame
I'm just collabing with my friends, though I only know their screennames
After five minutes a week you think you know me offline

I exploit fandoms for a bottom line
I conjure fame with challenge vids and
I play drinking games to target kids and
I hope Lucifer will sell me a selfie stick in hell
Whee!

Welcome, welcome to the YouTube Culture
The YouTube Cult

Hey guys, I'm on tour
So tug on mommy's hair
If she pays two hundred bucks you can meet-and-greet a millionaire
Hopping town to town in my first class flight
Which you kinda paid for when you bought my book I didn't write

YouTubers had morals back in 2011
More virgins were at VidCon than in al-Qaeda heaven
Now we're snorting lines of cinnamon, copycat cashing in
Quality to quantity
It's Kubrick to Kardashian

Idolize your idle eyes and I'm
Monetizing kissing guys and
I won't come out the closet till I've got something to sell about it

Welcome, welcome to my YouTube Lifestyle
YouTube Lie
Welcome, welcome to the YouTube Culture
The YouTube Cult

There's a mystery to being at the top
People think I'm divine
But the truth, I'm no hero
I just play one online

I'm like Hercules or Thor
With a slightly slimmer bod
'Cause, yeah, I'm just a normal guy but also I'm a god
So I didn't write my book, Jesus didn't write the bible
I spread my message through the land with twelve year-old disciples

I got more slave followers than Moses at the Red Sea
They purchase my biography, despite the fact I'm twenty-three
So love me and I'll love you more
'Cause I love the way you love me, my church is a merch store

I'm privileged, white, and rich, and male, and
You are not, so worship at my YouTube sale
I put the "I" in defy and suddenly you deify me!

Welcome, welcome to the YouTube sensation
The YouTube sin
Welcome, welcome to my YouTube lifestyle
YouTube lie
Welcome, welcome, na, na
Welcome, welcome, na, na
Welcome, welcome, I said
Welcome to the YouTube Cult
Cheers!