D G D Bm A G 
A G D Bm A


                D               G               D
Those crazy Christians, I was gonna sleep in today
           Bm                A                  G
But the church bells woke me up and they’re a half a mile away
                D                    G               D
Those crazy Christians, dressed up drivin’ down my street
            Bm            A                 G
Get their weekly dose of guilt before they head to Applebee’s


        A                           G
They pray before they eat and they pray before they snore
        D                               Bm              A
They pray before a football game and every time they score
  A                        G
Every untimely passing, every dear departed soul
     D                          Bm      A
Is just another good excuse to bake a casserole


              D                G               D
Those crazy Christians, go and jump on some airplane
           Bm        A                 G
And fly to Africa or Haiti, risk their lives in Jesus’ name
D                  G                D
No, they ain’t the late night party kind
     Bm                A                  G
They curse the devil’s whiskey while they drink the Savior’s wine

  A                         G
A famous TV preacher has a big affair and then
D                               Bm          A
One tearful confession and he’s born again again
    A                             G
Someone yells hallelujah and they shout and clap and sing
               D                                 Bm            A
It’s like they can’t wait to forgive someone for just about anything


             D                                           G         D
Those crazy Christians, instead of being outside on this sunny afternoon
               Bm           A             G
They’re by the bedside of a stranger in a cold hospital room
    D                              G                   D
And every now and then they meet a poor lost soul like me
      Bm                                 A               G
Who’s not quite sure just who or what or how he ought to be
     D                                     G                   D
They march him down the aisle and then the next thing that you know
     Bm                                   A              G
They dunk him in the water and here comes another one of those crazy Christians


     A                          G
They look to heaven their whole life
      D                               Bm              A
And I think what if they’re wrong but what if they’re right
              A                  G
You know it’s funny, much as I’m baffled by it all
     D                                 Bm           A
If I ever really needed help, well you know who I’d call