Six Guys, Ten Teeth

Five o' clock, Friday, I can hear the whistle blowin'
Got a 6:30 barbecue, and all my boys are showin' up:
Skeeter, Cooter, Billy Ray and Bobby Ray and Billy Bob
We got a pig in the ground, but can't remember where we buried it
So we load up the truck with all the bourbon we can carry
And we kill another hour shootin' BBs at the neighbor's dog

Somebody throws a punch and my buddies get to brawlin'
But I can hear the honky-tonk 'n' señoritas callin'
We pile into the pickup, do some donuts on the lawn
You'll find us in the mornin' when the money's all gone

We'll be covered in piss and stinkin' to the heavens
Sleepin' in the dumpster out behind the 7-'leven
Our underwear is lyin' in the middle of the road and
I'm bleedin' from a head wound, swellin' in the scrotum
Got the shakes, DTs, gonorrhea and the trots
And a tattoo on my buttocks in the shape o' Don Knotts
Everybody runs when we make it on the scene-
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

'bout 11:30, and we're feelin' kinda down
'cause we already been booted outta every bar in town
So we hang out by the school and watch the cuties leave the junior prom
Me and both the Billys wanna see some nekkid ladies
But the Hooter Hut is closed, Double D's is overrated
So we hit the Jiggly Wiggly, where the headliner is Bobby Ray's mom

Things are goin' good 'til a stripper starts to holler
After Skeeter started diggin' round for change for his dollar
Stripper throws a punch, Skeeter's laid out on the floor
We prob'ly oughta help him, but we're runnin' out the door

We'll be covered in piss and stinkin' to the heavens
Sleepin' in the dumpster out behind the 7-'leven
Our underwear is lyin' in the middle of the road and
I'm bleedin' from a head wound, swellin' in the scrotum
Got a squirrel and a stop sign hangin' from my bumper
And a feelin' like a roman candle burnin' in my dumper
A more pathetic sight you ain't never ever seen-
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us

Four in the mornin', and they kicked us outta Denny's
So we motor to the Mini-Mart and spend our last twenty
On a Molly Hatchet tape, a stack o' Swank, and seven packs o' chaw
Cooter's is in the swimmin' pool that he just drove the truck in
Billy Bob is passed out, Billy Ray is upchuckin'
And I'm crappin' in the parking lot behind the VFW Hall

Sheriff pulls up and we're headin' for the station
But Cooter's dad's a judge, so we get off with probation
If you wanna separate the girlies from the men
We'll see you next Friday when we do it all again

We'll be covered in piss and stinkin' to the heavens
Sleepin' in the dumpster out behind the 7-'leven
Our underwear is lyin' in the middle of the road and
I'm bleedin' from a head wound, swellin' in the scrotum
Got the clap, dry heaves, Montezuma's and the shivers
Pukin' on my Tony Lamas, coughin' up my liver
If you can bail Skeeter out, then you can join the team
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us
Don't need any manners, common sense or self-esteem
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us
All you need's an attitude, a pickup and a penis
Six guys, ten teeth and one brain between us