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    Mel
    Dear Mr. Mel
    Everything was going so well

    Your life was swell
    At least, until
    The police caught you driving 'round pell-mell

    And they could tell
    Just from the smell
    You had had a little too much zinfandel

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    Put you in a cell
    To rest a spell
    But you believed you'd been treated ill

    So you began to yell
    At the personnel
    Ranting 'bout the cops and Jews as well

    And you rebelled
    And cursed like hell
    Then you finally paid your bail and said farewell

    Oh, Mel
    Please don't dwell
    On how you fell
    Just go get well
    In a hotel In Cozumel
    With some Mezcal and Muscatel
    Just give the car keys to someone else

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