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    Who is the redhead Hollywood starlet
    Living a life that's consequence-free?
    Who keeps tequila in the Mercedes?
    Everyone knows it's Lindsay

    Who hasn't made a good flick since Mean Girls?
    Who's making Paris and Britney look sane?
    Whose room in rehab has a bartender?
    Everyone knows it's Lindsay

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    And Lindsay has bloodshot eyes
    Give Lindsay some Biggie fries
    'Cause Lindsay has toothpick thighs
    And a spoon up her nose…

    Who took a spin when she had been drinking?
    Who had a pocket filled with cocaine?
    Who's headed for some time in the pokey?
    Everyone knows it's Lindsay
    Who maybe should have hired a driver?
    Everyone knows it's Lindsay

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