The Polaroid

Me holidays on the Southern Sands,
trying to get some fun by way of one night stands...
I clocked this girl, thought l'd give her the chat -
one of them Swedish blonde types, and l've always
fancied that.
I showed her me Polaroid.
She said "I like it, will you please take my
picture?"
I say "Right then", thinking this is gonna be me
lucky day.
She whips off her bikini top
and I think "OK!"
I say "It only takes a minute for this thing to
develop."
She says "I'd better push off now or me feller'll be
jealous."
Just then I felt a hand on me collar, and it was a
Boy in Blue.
He says "You can't take nude photographs on this
beach,"
and "I'm arresting you."
I protested me innocence,
but it was no use, the picture was forming;
he gave me the official warning that day.
He'd seen me Polaroid,
so what could I say?
I got me Polaroid
She got away.

I looked around, but she'd disappeared,
I say "You don't understand, this was all her idea"
but the copper says "Don't worry son, I get the
picture OK."
He took me Polaroid
and I got ten days.