Scars

I’ve been trying to stay away from mirrors
Guess I’m too scared to face my fears
There ain’t nothing scarier then not knowing if you know yourself
Speak my emotions, I just hope it helps
Sometimes I think about my life and I search for the meaning
Looking for temporary angels to permanent demons
Sometimes these people call me family just for they convinience
Take me for granted while I’m here, but get hurt when I’m leaving
Leaving all my reasons to kill in a box beside me
If you choose to open it brace yourself but don’t try me
Cause I don’t want to turn to that person thats so unlike me
But fuck with my family I guarantee I won’t take it lightly
I might be a lil different now, it’s different now
The love we had was toxic so we keep our distance now
We used to want to ride for each other, die for each other
Now we point the finger say names and lie to eachother
So it’s, fuck love and I numb the pain with this Hennessy
I hurt the people that always end up forgiving me
And all this money brought the fake people closer to me
And most the ones I truely love just haven’t spoken to me
But as of lately I ain’t got the time
And if you hear the song just know you on my mind
I wrote this as I’m trying to pull through
In hopes that you understand that I’m no different than you

Right now I am here
I have scars but no fear
Never thought I’d get this far

I got this situation I’m dealing with currently
My shorty had an abortion, who’s to blame her or me?
I feel the guilt that’s inside of me steadily burning me
Turning my stomach eating my spleen I’m bleeding internally
Fuck… turning me to this person I hate see the worst in me
The day she got out of surgery, prayed someone would murder me
Smile to cover the pain so these people don’t see this hurt in me
And that’s probably the reason it’s been so long since you heard from me
But one of my brothers is doing life, living life for alone
Said he was raised by the streets so prison is like his home
Seems the world forgot he existed, it's like he’s gone
But I still keep in contact with him, last night he hit my phone
We talked about the past reminisced on the time that’s gone
That’s when he stopped and he told me that his fate was set in stone
He said "my motivation is when you speak in that microphone
You make me want to go back in time just to right my wrongs"
Damn… That put me right in my place
Broke down and wiped the tear off the side of my face
I’m self conscious about myself not knowing I could be great
I focus on my weaknesses not realizing my strengths
If you can relate, you know how I feel right now
And probably hate me for it, but this shit is real right now
Cause if I ain’t have music and I ain’t have you to keep me sane
I'd probably OD on these pills right now
We are, missunderstood by the unforgiving
Apologies to my mom’s for the way I’m living
We both share the same pain so we ain’t to different
But I can’t help but feel like I’m drowning and something's missing
See I just want to be heard, I got my story to tell
Stabbed in the back, shot in the head, going through hell
Feels like I failed, but I wrote this as I’m trying to pull through
In hopes that you understand that I’m no different than you

Right now I am here
I have scars but no fear
Never thought I’d get this far