F.M.I.D.

Lately, I like to take walks after work wearing
Nothing but my undershirt
The wind picking up my eyes
The blood rushing back to my heart
There’s a show on the corner with
Some kids I met in Oakland
You’re sitting on the roof of your car
Parked right outside the record store

Have you seen my self-esteem?
It’s picking up it’s feet out of the
Gutter it was laying in
Just blowing off some steam
It’s fine, let’s walk the tracks until my
Shorts are ripping at the seams
We’ll drink a forty and play polo in my
Single speeded dream
When she gets drunk she calls me loser and
I get worried that I’ll lose her and
Have to make a bunch of new friends in another stupid town
And play my GameBoy on the front porch at Pergs
Trying to realize that the butterflies that live inside my stomach gotta die

I leaned back and looked up, it said
Fuck me, I'm drunk
In sharpie on the ceiling of the
Seventy six in downtown Arcata
This town’s gone to shit
One day I’ll learn to commit but for now
I'm throwing pumpkins down
The hill at Laurel and California

My lungs are blacker than the perique packs and
Pupils in your eyes after the forty minute real-talk
All the way to In-N-Out
We drive each other to out tipping points
There’s months of lean blunts, pizza joints
There’s nothing like the shit you find out
Talking to your mom so late at night
And even though it’s been getting easier lately
It takes a lot to convince me that
People don’t hate me, and sometimes
When I'm in the car with you guys
I feel like maybe I'm not that crazy
I'm getting better, and some day
I’ll get all this straight inside my head but
Right now I'm still trying to learn
How to keep a steady circle of friends
But you gave me cocaine for my nineteenth birthday
And about a year ago that day
We almost got arrested at the movies
And I was just there talking with my
Hands shaking in my pockets
I looked at you and read your lips, they said
I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine