Real Woman

I know it's near the knuckle
But I can tell when I see a real man
When it comes to reality
I've only just began
You've got a grasp of the real situation
I just blunder about in a close
Approximation
You know a lot of people your always drinking with your friend
you low a lot of people
when you've got a lot to send

I'm not a real woman
I don't nod my head
And patiently wait
For your favours in bed
I don't wear lace panties
At waist away prices
Or bondage and scanties
At masochist dances
I'm not a real woman
I don't waggle my hips
Or flap my eye lids
Or shapple my lips
And I'm not a lemon
So please don't squezze out my pips
Im not a real woman
I don't aim to please
Or twinkle my knickers
Or garter my knees
The nails on my fingers
Are tattered and torn
I have had dirty fingers
Since the day I was born
Im not a real woman
I'm not a real woman
I don't nod my head
And patiently wait
For your favours in bed
And i'm not a lemon
So squeeze your own instead

I'm generous I'm mean
I'm a law onto myself
And I just laugh at everything you say
Don't be surprised
If I don't look into your eyes
My eyes are on a million miles away
I'm not a real woman
I won't cook your food
I'm not on page 3
Drinking gin in the nude
I'm board by your laundry
And board by your jokes
Why don't you save them
to tell other blokes
I don't need no favours
I don't need no please
I don't need no bozo
To tickle my knees
And I'm no lamb chop
So don't fork my peas

I'm generous I'm mean
I'm a law onto myself
And I just laugh at everything you say
Don't be surprised
If I don't look into your eyes
My eyes are on a million miles away

I'm not a real woman
I don't look divine
I only like children some of the time
And just like a man must be well hung
To be a real woman
You have to be young
Hey your not so macho
By the look of that bunch
You can save your bananas
To eat with your lunch
Im not a real woman
I won't cook your food
And I only want sex
When im in the mood

I'm generous I'm mean
I'm a law onto myself
And I just laugh at everything you say
Don't be surprised
If I don't look into your eyes
My eyes are on a million miles away

Im not a real woman
I won't cook your food
And I only want sex
When im in the mood