Practically Perfect

Mary Poppins

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    [MARY POPPINS]
    By the time the wind has blown
    The weather vane around
    I'll show you, if I can
    No matter what the circumstance
    For one thing I'm renown
    My character is spit-spot spic and span

    I'm practically perfect
    In every way

    [JANE]
    Practically perfect?

    [MARY POPPINS]
    So people say

    Each virtue virtually knows no bound
    Each trait is great and patently sound

    I'm practically perfect from head to toe
    If I had a fault it would never dare to show
    I'm so practically perfect
    In every way

    Both prim and proper and never too stern
    Well-educated yet willing to learn
    I'm clean and honest, my manner refined
    And I wear shoes of the sensible kind

    I suffer no nonsense and whilst I remain
    There's nothing else I feel I need explain

    I'm practically perfect in every way
    Practically perfect, that's my forte
    Uncanny nannies are hard to find
    Unique, yet meek, unspeakably kind

    I'm practically perfect, not slightly soiled
    Running like an engine that's just been freshly oiled
    I'm so practically perfect
    In every way

    Well, those are my credentials. Perhaps you have a few questions?

    [MICHAEL]
    Not temperamental?

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    [MARY POPPINS]
    Never.

    [MICHAEL]
    Not grouchy or gruff?

    [MARY POPPINS]
    Oh, the very thought.

    [JANE]
    Will you stay tender
    When the going gets tough?

    [MARY POPPINS]
    Quite the contrary.

    [MICHAEL]
    Do you read stories
    Without a big fuss?

    [MARY POPPINS]
    Mmm-hmm.

    [JANE]
    Or have objections
    To playing with us?

    [MARY POPPINS]
    Oh, I like games, but I choose them.
    Some minor improvements may not go amiss
    But at all times you must remember this

    [JANE & MICHAEL]
    You're practically perfect
    In every way

    [MARY POPPINS]
    I guarantee

    [JANE & MICHAEL]
    Practically perfect
    We hope you'll stay

    [MARY POPPINS]
    No flies on me

    Each virtue virtually knows no bound
    Each trait is great

    [JANE & MICHAEL]
    And patently sound

    [MARY POPPINS]
    Patently sound
    Spit-spot! Jane, put your toys away, please.

    [JANE]
    Do I have to?

    [MARY POPPINS]
    Yes. Michael, tidy your things.

    [MICHAEL]
    It's not fair!

    [MARY POPPINS]
    I didn't say I was fair. I said…
    I'm practically perfect, and here's my aim
    By the time I leave here you both will be the same
    You'll be practically perfect

    [JANE & MICHAEL]
    Practically perfect

    [MARY POPPINS, JANE & MICHAEL]
    You (We) will be practically perfect
    In every way

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