The Quitting Smoking Song

it's the quitting smoking song
all the smokers cough along
if i can do it, so can you
let's chew some gum and say fuck you

it's the quitting smoking song
all the smokers cough along
if i can quit, you can quit
let's have some fun and break some shit

well this is the hundreth million time i've tried to quit
So sick of it wait shit // i gotta cough and spit
i was a bitch before but now a bitch times six
on day six I slipped then sticked patches on both tits
ripped off the patch with a rash sick of the crap sick of paying 9 bucks a pack sick of keeping track -whatever gotta match?
throw the pack in the trash then bum one fast and light it up
(you shouldn't do that) you know, i know, i don't give a fuck
then I get to the end and feel bad again cant call your friends cuz this is the tenth time you said you quit and this time i'm really gonna do it man i got a plan
acupuncture and bran nicorette treadmill and zyban
damn i feel weak i feel so dumb
i got 99 problems and cigarettes is #1
gonna curse Benson Hedges
curse Phillip Morris
gonna curse you motherfuckers til I make it to the chorus

it's the quitting smoking song
all the smokers cough along
if i can do it, so can you
let's chew some gum and say fuck you

it's the quitting smoking song
all the smokers cough along
if i can quit, you can quit
let's have some fun and break some shit

I haven't smoked in a week all my clothes still stink
what did i used to think this website says my lungs have ONE spot of pink?
now - what am i gonna do instead of smoke when
1. drinking coffee
2. thinking about the Iraqis
3. in a boring conversation
4. mad, impatient or
5. waiting outside
6. while i drive
7. feeling crappy
8. feeling happy
9. this is not happening/ i cant stop snacking its nervewracking my pant buttons are snapping and my rapping is totally blocked clocked more wrinkles than a pitbull plus I got a new pimple
I'm supposed to be a sex symbol!
it's official i'd rather kill myself smoking than live without it
so sick of feeling sick
so sick of myself sick of talking about it
gonna curse Marlboro gonna curse Phillip Morris gonna curse you motherfuckers til I make it to the chorus

it's the quitting smoking song
all the smokers cough along
if i can do it, so can you
chew some gum and say fuck you

it's the quitting smoking song
all the smokers cough along
if i can quit, you can quit
lets have some fun and break some shit

Wow it's been a year? I still got a career- lost some weight but still don't got a stomach (or dough) like Britney Spears but
I can actually breathe got some nice white teeth and I can sit through dinner and not get up to smoke in the middle and leave
believe me I got a lot to say on the topic
if you're a smoker and you know it, clap your hands, now stop it
you look pretty stupid with that thing in your mouth
pretty insecure with that thing stickin out little wrinkles on your brow
I dont know how you're gonna do it but you better do it
your lungs or these corporations which one you want ruined?
I'm sorry I'm starting to preach just a little bit
nothing worse than a smoker who quit but you smell like shit
Go kiss someone else you taste so gross dude
I smelled you before you even came close ooh
I'm gonna curse Benson Hedges
curse Phillip Morris
gonna curse you motherfuckers which brings me to the chorus