Plastic Jesus

G
I don't care if it rains or freezes
C
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
G
Comes in colors pink and pleasant,
C
Glows in the dark cause he’s 
iridescent
G                 D        
Take Him with you when you're 
              G
travelling far

[Chorus]
G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Through my trials and tribulations,
C
And my travels ‘cross the nation,
G               D             G
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

[Verse]
G
When I'm in a traffic jam
C
He don't care if I say Damn
G                             D
I can let all sorts of curses roll
G
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
C
For he has a plastic ear
G                    D           
The man who invented plastic 
     G
saved my soul

[Alt chorus]
G              C
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Once his robe was snowy white
C
Now it isn't quite so bright
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G              D             G
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

[Verse]
G
If I weave around at night
C
And the police think I'm tight
G                                  
I don’t worry that they’ll find my 
D
stash
G
Plastic Jesus shelters me
C
For His head comes off, you see
G            D             G
And voila, I have a secret flask

[Alt chorus]
G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Ride with me and have a dram
C
Of the blood of the Lamb
G             D         G
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

[Verse]
G
When my babe and I go parkin’
C
Fornicating in the dark
G                                D
I don’t have to think she’ll get PG
G
I have no worries and no cares
C
Because the raincoat that he wears
G             D                  G
Serves a dual purpose, don’t you see

[Alt chorus]
G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
He don’t slip and he don’t slide
C
Because his ass is magnetized
G             D               G
Sittin on the dashboard of my car

[Verse]
G
Riding home one foggy night,
C
With my honey cuddled tight,
G                                 
I missed a curve and off the road 
   D
we veered.
G
My windshield, it got smashed-up 
good,
C
And my darling graced the hood.
G              D           G
Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared.

[Alt chorus]
G              C
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
G                                 
No longer chides me with His holy 
D
grin.
G
Doctors in the X-ray room
C
Found Him in my darling's womb.
G              D               G
Someday, maybe he'll be born again!

[Otro]
G              C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G                             D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Through my trials and tribulations,
C
And my travels ‘cross the nation,
G               D             G
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.