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    At last! A visitor, I'm pleased you've returned
    I've secrets that you need to learn
    Apologies, you had to use complex directions
    but I'm currently avoiding arrest and detection
    Expelled from the roll of clubs and societies
    I've been told I lack sanity - even sobriety
    So don't lie to me, if you need to leave
    I've seen the finest men that need to heave
    The contents of their guts across my hall way floor
    With disgust, so before we take our tour
    Be sure, stay close, extra tight
    Geoffery - fetch our guest a pipe!
    And prepare the lab you wretched tyke!
    Damned monkey butler, best get this right
    Special guests tonight? You're completely certain?
    Then step to the right as a draw back the curtain...

    Animal Magic
    This is
    Animal Magic

    Animal Magic
    This is
    Animal Magic

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    Now, you see
    Aham

    The myriad wonders of nature it's true
    Can be understood fully in my home made zoo
    By brain swapping with my cranial cutter
    I created my apeish butler
    Like any explorer forging new boundaries
    I found this astounding and took me an owl beak and wings
    Grafted to a tortoise shell
    And now my Owltoise is doing quite well
    No, my Chimpangoat's not the prettiest of creatures
    My Donkeypede has the silliest of features
    My lobsterroos don't like their claws
    My Batraffes do fly into doors
    But until you've heard the Badgermingo sing
    Or fed a tiny fish to a baby Marmoquin...
    My dear sir or madam you've never lived
    It's an impressive gift, so treasure this

    Animal Magic
    This is
    Animal Magic

    Animal Magic
    This is
    Animal Magic

    Hold for a second - I'm not joking
    This cage should not be open
    My Camelion might be hiding loose
    Oh god, so's the stripy Tigoose
    And yes they're stunning
    And yes they're wonderous
    But they're cunning
    And they might come for us
    If there's rumpus, you're able to run I trust?
    Geoffery - fetch me my blunderbuss
    Oh no! Don't tell me you're using this mutiny?
    I just wanted unity - what will you do to me?
    Trapped. Beheaded
    Oddly sickened
    They attached my head to the body of a chicken
    Baaluck! So strange, so odd
    In retrospect, perhaps a mistake to play god...

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