In My Shell

I am a child of eight
Reborn in the fires
Hidden scars of pain
Thoughts are out of mind
But every time they surface
A shock to the system
Sensation overload
As I become undone

In my shell
Free from pain
Buffer me
Washing me
In my shell
I will find
My own hell
In my mind

Words are empty
They can't convey
Thoughts that need expressing
So much left unsaid
Acting out
Killing time
Slipping up
Losing my mind

In my shell
Free from pain
Buffer me
Washing me
In my shell
I will find
My own hell
In my mind

I'm bursting at the seams
It's not what it seems
I'm just a child with a secret
I've seen too much for my eyes
I can't express what's on my mind
I've lost the will to even try
Flashbacks in my mind
I'm fighting an uphill climb
I've lost my will to roll the stone
Inviting in the demons
To cover up this feeling
And let my world just go to hell

If you could only see the real me
You'd probably turn in disgust
If you only knew my shame
I'd rightly earn your distrust
To think I could have laid with him
It's such a haze of memories
I finally see
I wouldn't blame you at all
If you saw me as a monster

In my shell
Free from pain
Buffer me
Washing me
In my shell
I will find
My own hell
In my mind

Mommy doesn't understand
But Daddy's there for me
Washing over