Floodgates

The floodgates opened and there was a river
Flowing through me with a dull precision
It left me feeling nauseous
I'm handcuffed by a lack of ambition
Drugs and daytime television
I fight through life like a prison
And chop up individual parts I couldn't process

And I was rotting in the backseat
I was trying to find
New words for the same repeating lines

And after the smoke clears
Opened my eyes and I was still here
I was certain I was a goner
It should have been me on the tablе
With the wires and the cablеs
I'll do anything it takes to stay here
Just a little while longer

And I was lying in the backseat
I was trying to find
New words for the same repeating lines
And I was lying though my teeth
Always saying it would be alright
Still feeling your fingers on my spine

And when the floodgates closed
And I was back in my darkened home
Feeling more depleted than I ever have
But instead of crying
Whenever I think of dying
It only makes me laugh
And how could I explain it to you when I don't understand it myself?

And I was lying in the backseat
I was trying to find
New words for the same repeating lines
And I was lying though my teeth
Always saying it would be alright
Still feeling your fingers on my spine