G
Well my buddy Scotty
G
He was feeling kinda down
  C
A fork tongued woman
C
Done run him in the ground
  D
I took him to the bar
C                   G
We were scoping the room

[Verse]
G
We spotted a couple girls
G
And said hey y'all
C
One was a fox
C
The other was a dog
     D
So I said Scotty boy
C                          D
Here's what I'm willin' to do

[Chorus]
              G
I'll take the ugly one
G
The one who looks
           C
Just like Atilla the Hun
                D
That drug store perm
                  C            G
And them long red hairs on her chin
D
I'll be glad to take
G
One for the team
G
I'm pretty sure you'd
       C
Do the same for me
                            D
Yeah I'll take the ugly one brother
          C         G
Ain't I a damn good friend

[Verse]
G
Then Scotty said Ray man
G
We can find two more
     C
That homely thing looks like
C
She could chew through a door
    D
I'd never expect you to go
    C                    G
And do such an unselfish deed

[Verse]
G
I said nonsense brother
G
You need to see what its like
   C
To get your world rocked
C
By that sweet thing tonight
D
I'll chat up her sidekick there
G                    D
Don't you worry bout me

[Chorus]
              G
I'll take the ugly one
G
somebodys daughter's
        C
Looking more like a son
C                        D
How'd she squeeze that behind
                              G
In them high waisted Wal-Mart jeans
D
I bet shes rocking
       G
Granny panties tonight
G
Lord I hope nobody
C
Turns on the lights
                   D
Yeah I'll take the ugly one brother
                      G
Aw but buddy you gonna owe me

[Bridge]
D
Well it turns out old rover's
               C
Pretty BFF was having
C                    G
Herself a pretty bad day
      D
And I heard that
           C
Ugly thing whisper to her
D
She rolled her eyes my way...
N.C.
You know what she said?
N.C.
She said...

[Chorus]
              G
I'll take the ugly one
G
You get with scotty there
 C
Y'all have fun
                        D
I'll see how long I can stand
D
This neanderthal man
        C             G
Girl he ain't no Brad Pitt
D
I better get to
         G
Drinking heavier now
G
Won't have to kiss the fool
   C
If I pass out
                   D
Yeah I'll take the ugly one girl
                  C        G
Aw but you better remember this

[Outro]
G
Ouch...
G
Well I reckon thats what I get
G
For being a jackass...