Those Jeans

            G                      
Well, I was out at the Long Branch,
       A
 and I was talkin’ to this girl.
                C                  
And every hound dog in the joint 
          D
was sniffing around her.
                 G             
I was playing it slow and cool, 
                    A
being the gentleman that I am.
                 C              
Well, then this grease ball with 
                 D
long black slick back hair
                  G                
Struts right up to her like I 
          A
wasn’t even standing there.
                   C               
He looks her up and down and cocks 
                   D
his eyebrow and he says, "Baby, 
damn."

[Chorus]
       G
How do you get in those jeans?
          A
Mercy you looking fine.
                        C          
How do you get in those jeans baby,
            D
 and tell me how do I?

[Verse]
                            G   
She looked at him and smiled and 
                  A
said I thought you’d never ask.
                       C           
He looked at me and said that’s how
                D
 that’s done son, just like that.
                 G               
I wanted to be mad at him, but to 
              A
tell you the truth I was really 
kinda impressed.
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            C                  
He said you might get slapped 9 
      D
times out of 10,
            G                      
but there’s always one that wants a
 A
 no B.S. kinda man.
                      C          
So I walked up to the next girl I 
                          D
saw who wasn’t wearing a dress, and 
I leaned in and said.

[Chorus]
       G
How do you get in those jeans?
          A
Mercy you looking fine.
                        C          
How do you get in those jeans baby,
            D
 and tell me how do I? (I sure did)

[Verse]
                                    
G
   A
Well, I woke up later in a hospital 
bed, with a half-pound of gauze 
wrapped around my
sore head.
                       C         
Some of my teeth were gone, and I 
                            D
was drinking mashed taters through a
 straw.
                                    
   G
              A
You see, uh, turns out the girl that
 I propositioned had man, with a 
chip on his
shoulder and blunt object in his 
hand,
who proceeded to express his 
C                         A
disapproval of the lines that I 
crossed.

                     G             
Well, they told me I could leave, 
          A
so I put my clothes back on.
                C               
I stumbled past the waiting room 
      D
just minding my own.
        G                    A    
                     C
               D
And then this over nourished night 
nurse, from out of nowhere comes up 
to me and she
says, "Excuse me sir, but um…"

[Chorus]
       G
How do you get in those jeans?
          A
Mercy you looking fine.
                        C          
How do you get in those jeans baby,
            D
 and tell me how do I?

[Otro]
        G                   A
Uh, well um I guess I did need a 
ride home.
        C                      D
I gotta tell myself it was the right
 thing to do.
[N.C]
Don’t judge me.