Mississippi Squirrel

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When I was a kid we'd take a 
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trip, every summer down to 
Mississip'
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To visit my Grannie and my Aunt 
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Bellum Whirl.

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Well, I'd run barefoot all day 
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long, climbing trees as free as a 
song
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And then, one day I caught myself 
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a squirrel.
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Well, I stuffed him down in an ol' 
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shoe box, an' punched a couple of 
holes
   in the top
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And when Sunday came along, I snuck
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 him into church.
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Well, I'us sittin' way back in the 
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very last pew, a'showin him to my 
good
buddy Hugh
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When that squirrel got loose and 
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went totally bezerk!
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What happened next is hard to tell, 
some thought it was heaven some
thought

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it was hell, but the fact that 
sumptn's amoung us was plain to tell

As the choir sand "I Surrender All",
 the squirrel ran up Harv Newman's
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   coveralls;  and he jumped to his
 feet and said "Sumpn's got a hol' a
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me!"
***Chorus:
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The day the squirrel went bezerk in
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 the First Sub-Baptist Church,
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In the sleepy little town of 
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Pasquagulla.
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It was a fight for survival, that 
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turned up in revival
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They were jumpin' pews and singing
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  "Hallejulia".
Well, Harv hit the aisles a dancin' 
and a screamin'
Some thought he had religion, some 
thought he had a demon,
But Harv thought he had a weed-eater
 loose in his "fruit of the looms"
He fell to his knees to plead and 
beg and the squirrel ran out his
britches leg
Imbeknownst to the far side of the 
room.
Well, it ran on down to the Amen pew
 where sat Sister Berthat Better 
than
you
Who'd been watchin' all the 
commotion with sadistic glee.
Well, you should'a seen the look in 
here eyes when that squirrel jumped
her
   garters and crossed her thighs
And she jumped to her feet and said 
"LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME"
As the squirrel made laps inside her
 dress
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that'd make a sailor blush 
with shame.
She told of gossip and church 
dessention, but the thing that got 
the most
   attention
Is when she talked about her love 
life and started naming names!
Chorus
Well, seven deacons and the pastor 
got saved and twenty-five thousand
dollars
   got raised and fifty volunteered 
for missions in the Congo on the 
spot.
And even without an invitation, here
 were at least five hundred
rededications,
   and we all got rebaptized wheter 
we needed it or not.
Now, you've heard the Bible story I 
guess, how God parted the waters so
   Moses could pass.
Oh, The miracles God has wroght in 
this ol' world
But the one I'll remember to my 
dying day, is how He put that church
 on
the