MILES AWAY from heaven

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whoa
I talk my shit
Yeah

I know depression, I met her and fell in love
Fuck a hug, I found a best friend with the drugs
Hopefully this pill'll turn me back to person that I was
'Cause, honestly, I'd rather go to Xannybars than to a club
The only one who really loves me is the plug
Otherwise, he wouldn't treat me like he does
Stupid, of course I'd be judged, but the hate feels so much better than the love
I only want to see my daughters when I'm buzzed
Let me sip this drink
Happiness cheated on me, I got attached to lonely
No, I ain't crazy, I hate that you put that jacket on me
An OD would be a blessing, I swear
If God decide to take me now, make sure His angels prepare
To carry my heavy soul to where it's about to go
Feel like I already know it ain't heaven, fasho
Who cares? I need my fix, and don't nobody care I exist
I go to rehab 'cause you asked, but that don't mean I'ma quit

Death gotta be a block party
'Cause life is hard
A psych ward in my bedroom, not so far (not so far)
Wish heaven was a mile away
Wish heaven was a mile away
Wish heaven was a mile away
I'd fill my tank and leave this place forever

Look, I got stranded with regrets, I'm not invested in the steps
Can't be eleven of them left
It's no blanket for the sweats
Is you gon' hold me when I ache
And tell me everything's okay before I break?
So why the fuck would you just leave me in this place?
I got to laugh to stop from crying, overthinkin' when I'm silent
Shoulda died and made you perfect, that would numb all of my problems
Anxiety through the roof and my dogs can't help me
In school I would suppress the pain, but I always felt it
Need an electrician, my light is the dimmest, not the best swimmer
Adolescent years, I fished for attention, I'm bad for business
Suicide playin', out in my mental, I'm tired of living
You would only understand if you were me for just a minute
Sometimes I sit in my car with the radio off
Tryna listen to the sound of my heart
I've digested all the lessons that society taught
Wish I could hold it all together, but I'm falling apart

Death gotta be a block party, 'cause life is hard
A psych ward in my bedroom, not so far
Wish heaven was a mile away
Wish heaven was a mile away
Wish heaven was a mile away
I'd fill my tank and leave this place forever

And I know death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard
Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard
Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard
Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is—