20mg

I try to stay calm
Focus on my breath
It’s like I drown
In a sea of sand

Everything’s black
Everything’s cold
A second is a new thought for me

1 life I won’t miss
2 pills I will take
3 hours of bliss
4 more I'm in hell
5 days I'm asleep
6 that I'm insane
I don’t wanna feel the pain

I have a fear for living
Cause I don’t wanna be a fuckin mess
I relive in my nightmares
Cause it’s the only way I can rest

I'm not Ok, I'm not the same
My head’s screaming but I'm standing still
Trapped in a lie that’s made of drugs
I pray inside someone breaks my sleep

My ocean is made of dust
And I’ve been dying here of thirst
It’s like I'm diving in the mud
Every time I try to reach for the worst

They tell me I should live
Tell me I should care
Tell me I should move
But I don't feel safe here

This is end time out of my bed
It’s like I'm tryna ride an avalanche

And if time is the key then I locked myself into my own black hole

You are not a savior if you’re telling me it’s just a phase
You’re a motherfucker if you’re telling me it’s just a phase
Now!

You need to fuckin hear me now

No one, no one will bring me down

Merde j'sais pas où j’me réveille
J’suis p’t'être encore dans un mauvais rêve, rêve noir
Le silence est une violence saine, et j’suis devenu sourd, j’suis devenu saoul d’mes peines
Seul dans la nuit et 20 milli'
J’perds pieds dans une eau sombre qui m'entraîne vers Lucifer, l’enfer

I'm not Ok, I'm not the same
My head’s screaming but I'm standing still
Trapped in a lie that’s made of drugs
I pray inside, pray

That I'm not alone, that you realize
Sometimes a word could save a life

I'm not okay, I'm not the same

The night is young and yet so bright
At last I'm saved, my heart is light
A smile designed for my peace of mind
I loved you for not giving up on mine