Im A Textpert

                    G
Yes, because. I'm a textpert
   F
An expert at texting
  C                           Am  
Rejecting the notion that you 
         *F*
think I'll be wrecking
G                      
Due to the fact that I'm 
     F
distracted?!
             C                     
I multi-task best behind the wheel 
           Am         *F*
when I get textually active

G                                
YOU should keep both eyes on the 
F
road, sir. For real
C                                 
You'll look down, look up and end 
          Am              
up in the trunk of another 
      *F*
automobile
G                         F
Leave it to a pro. Be incommunicado
          C                        
Until you get to where you need to 
         Am            *F*  G
go, this conversation's O. Ver

[Rhett & Link talking]
 F
No it isn't?
       C
Yes it is
      Am   *F*
No it isn't!

[Rhett]
            G              F
Cause I'm a textpert! An expert at 
texting
C                           Am   
Pressing, my keypad when my car's
     F
 not resting
G                F
I can divide my attention up
      C                            
I got so much attention, I've got 
  Am    *F*
an eleven-tion

G                             F
With one eye on the road; one eye on
 my phone
  C                              
I texted-in this drive-thru order 
        Am       *F*
for my latte and scone
Thank you
            G                  F
Now I'm-n-a text-n-eat-n-sip-n-dip 
and shift
         C          Am        *F*
It in to D and then chin-drive home

[Hook: Rhett & Link]
G              F
I'm a textpert
                       C           
A textin' traveler who doesn't need
             Am      F
 a chauffeur-eur-eur-eur-eur
G              F
I'm a textpert
Continúa después del anuncio
               C               
Don't worry, nobody's gonna get 
     Am      F
hurt-urt-urt-urt-urt

[Link]
    G            F
Sometimes I text both sides of a 
conversation
           C                       
Cause it's tough to keep up with my
 Am      *F*
 text-ual pacing
        G                      
On rare occasion, when I've got 
            F
nothing to text about
  C                       Am      
I text myself reminders of what 
       *F*
I'm doing now

[Rhett]
  G                 F
I carry on, more concurrent 
conversations
     C                  Am      
Than one phone alone is prone to 
*F*
accept
So, I've
G                       F
Tested and perfected my patented 
method:
    C                         Am  
The second handset hands-free toe 
     *F*
text

[Link]
  G            F
I ride with my Swedish Masseuse
    C                       Am *F*
She gimme deep tissue thumb shiatzu

[Rhett]
   G                  F
My yogi shows me hand yoga poses, 
like:
C                         Am 
Downward Facing Pinky and Thumb 
         *F*
Lotus

[Link]
           G                 *F*
I'll never stoop so low, as to text 
photos
          C                        
Instead I text the correct combo of
Am         *F*
 1's and 0's

[Rhett]
       G              F
I'm an artiste! Using ASCII!
       C                      Am  
I just texted this toad to an art 
       *F*
gallery

[Link]
G                             F
I text more, than the next bored 
pre-pubescent tween!
   C                         Am
In fact I've text-induced my own 
        *F*
second puberty!

[Rhett]
G
How does that work exactly?

[Link]
F                          C     
Everything that happened before 
      *Am*
is happening some more
That's all I'm comfortable sharing 
at this time...

[Rhett]
         G                   F
I gave a lift to a drifter!
                         C
And texted his estranged sister
            Am        *F*
And now I'm hostin' em here for 
dinner!

[Link]
     G                  
Well did I mention I'm a 
 F
text-itrician?
           C               
A next-gen OB/GYN, a Lamaze 
 Am    *F*
text-nician

[Rhett]
      G                        F
Well, I'm the next Dr. Phil of SMS

[Link]
    C                          
I'm poppin' out babies with the 
 Am      *F*
power of text!

[Hook]
G              F
I'm a textpert
                       C           
A textin' traveler who doesn't need
             Am      F
 a chauffeur-eur-eur-eur-eur


[Rhett and Link talking]
G                                 
By the way, where're you headed 
        |     G
son?      |    (I'm a textpert)
       F                           
Headed West on 421                 
       |     F
       |       (Don't worry,)
421?                                
      |
   C                               
Uh-huh                             
       |       C
       |    (Nobody's gonna get 
hurt)
West?!                              
      |
Am                                
Yes. You?                         
        |     Am
        |    (-urt-urt-)
F                                 
Me? I'm headed...                 
        |     F
        |    (-urt-urt)
G (if you want a punctual ending)
[CRASH]