Fulfilment Centre

Richard Dawson

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    Over and over and over and over
    Again and again and again and again and again
    Three hundred units per hour
    Hour after hour after hour
    Please adjust your packing-rate accordingly

    An endless array of tat for us to pick
    Stretching and reaching and crouching and bending over
    Three hundred units per hour
    Hour after hour after hour
    Please adjust your packing-rate accordingly

    Increase productivity!
    Increase productivity!
    Increase productivity!

    My body hurts all over but I must keep on working
    To meet all my quotas or I may face the sack

    Stretching, crouching, reaching, bending
    Stretching, crouching, reaching, bending

    Bedding and power tools, tablets and football shirts
    Perfume and Blu-Ray discs, jewelry and dehumidifiers

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    I am desperate for the toilet
    But if I go, I'll miss my targets
    All I can do is pee in a bottle

    They treat us like animals here

    There's nothing left of me
    By the time I shuffle homeward
    On the early morning train
    To eat a little breakfast and sleep a while
    Before it starts again
    Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh

    A young lad trying to make some cash in the Christmas rush
    Fell asleep on his feet and was asked not to return
    Three hundred units per hour
    Hour after hour after hour

    A lady in her mid to late fifties keeled over
    And started convulsing and frothing at the mouth
    Three hundred units per hour
    Hour after hour after hour

    A gentleman who spoke little English
    Started to scream at the top of his lungs
    No one could understand what he was getting at
    Everyone stared ahead and kept working until
    Someone came from on high to escort him from the building

    Increase productivity!
    Increase productivity!
    Increase productivity!

    PlayStations, Xboxes, Nintendo Wiis
    Microwaves, toasters, espresso machines
    Brollies and snooker cues
    Hoovers and paint
    Trainers and tarot cards (Stretching, crouching, reaching, bending)
    Dash-cams and wall-art (Stretching, crouching, reaching, bending)
    Lego and shaving foam, onesies and retractable extension leads

    I've been given compulsory overtime over the holidays
    Now I can't go to see my family in Galashiels 'til the new year

    There's nothing left of me by the time I shuffle homeward
    On the early morning train
    To eat a little breakfast and sleep a while
    Before it starts again
    There's more, there has to be
    More to life than killing yourself to survive
    One day, I'm going to run my own cafe

    Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh, ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh

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