I Wanna Be A Boss

I been doodlin' on this notepad
And I been takin' telephone calls
I can tell this job's at the end of the line
And I'm ready for the fall
But I been watchin' the boss carefully
and he always seems to be havin' a ball
And then I scratch my head and wonder
Why I'm down here and he's up the hall...

All of my paychecks aren't worth
The paper they're printed on
I get 'em Friday
And Monday they're all gone
There must be some way
To change my situation
It's time that I took up
A brand new vocation

I wanna take a two week vacation
26 times a year (add 'em up)
When I go to exotic places
My jet will be a Leer
I'll need several secretaries
Just to jot down notes
I'll wear Gucci loafers
And expensive shirts
And blue executive, exotic coats

I, I said I wanna be a boss

Well I''ll drive in fancy cars
No, well maybe I'll just cruise
With a limo and a chaufer
TV, telephone and booze
Tinted windows so the common folk
Can't see me here inside
Maybe every now and then for fun
I'll give some old coot a ride

Then maybe I'll slip 'em
A thousand dollar bill
The he'll smile and shake my hand
And I'll put him in my will
I'm gonna count up all my widgets
And digits and all my stuff
I'll make millions in a day
But it'll never be enough
Nope...not enough

'Cause I, I said I wanna be a boss

Now if I find a product I like
I'll buy up the whole company
Then I'll shave my face and grin
And smile and sell it on TV
And everyone will know me
I'll be more famous that Howard Hughes
I'll grow a long beard
And watch "Ice Station Zebra" in the nude

And grow my nails like Fu Man Chu
And keep a row of specimen jars
Get other people to work for me
Well no...maybe I'll buy
The planet Mars
And build an amusement park up there
Better than old Walt's place
You'll have to be a millionaire to go
And we'll smoke cigars
And lounge in lace
And talk the talk of businessmen
And bosses that we are
So here's to me
The drinks are free
'Cause I just bought this bar...