Convalesce

How foolish of me to think that I was alone
Left to my vices abandoned and hollow
Pleading for deliverance; set me free
Bathing in ignorance when my chains no longer bind me

Terrified, I find no comfort in solace
Buried alive, I keep my mask tied to the surface
I know that this is not the real me
Through the silence I hear you whispering

I stopped pursuing
I stopped believing
I stopped looking for you
Convinced myself I was justified when you wouldn't cater to me

I've grown tired wrestling with doubt
So sick of falling short and failing myself
Who am I to question your love?
Who am I to question all you've done?
I forget you have the strength to calm the storm

Terrified, I find no comfort in solace
Buried alive, I keep my mask tied to the surface
Face to face, this is not the real me
Break through and rip off the seams

Would you crack my ribs and reset my heart
Open up my skull and pick my brain apart?
Rearrange all the mess in my head
Breathe life into what once was dead

Here I go
Here I go again pleading for the freedom that you freely give
Shouldn't once be enough?
Shouldn't I be free?
Oh God, what the hell is wrong with me?

You never went anywhere
I turned my back on you
Despite my pride and my running away
I hear you calling
Screaming out my name