Are we gonna have a problem?
Did zombies eat your brain?
You've come so far
Why now are you yanking on my chain?
I'd normally slap your face off
And everyone here could watch
But I'm feeling nice
Here's some advice
Listen up, bitch

I like
Lookin' hot
Buying stuff they cannot
I like
Drinkin' hard
Maxin' dad's credit card
I like
Skippin' gym
Scaring her
Screwing him
I like
Killer clothes
Kickin' nerds in the nose

If you lack the deuce
Go play duck duck goose
Let your mommy fix you ice cream
Woah!
Or come hang with me
And tonight we'll be
Dirty dancing with the football team
Woah
Woah
Woah

Honey, whatcha waitin' for?
Welcome to my candy store
It's time for you to prove
You're not a loser anymore
Then step into my candy store

Guys fall
At your feet
Pay the check
Help you cheat
All you
Need to know
Some dead weight
Has to go
That freak's
Not your friend
I can tell in the end
If she
Had your shot
She would leave you to rot

'Course, if you don't care
Fine! Go braid her hair
Maybe Sesame Street is on
Woah
Or forget the creep
And get in my jeep
Let's go tear up someone's lawn

See, you don't have it
Watch this

Honey, whatcha waitin' for?
Welcome to my candy store
You just gotta prove
You're not a doorknob anymore
Then step into my candy store

You can join the team
Or you can bitch and moan
You can live the dream
Or you can die alone
You can fly with eagles
Or if you prefer
Keep on testing me

And end up like her
Woah
Honey, whatcha waitin' for

Shut up, Toni!
Step into my candy store
Time for you to prove
You're not a lame ass anymore

Then step into my candy store
It's my candy store
It's my candy
It's my candy store
It's my candy
It's my candy store
It's my candy store