D                                 Dmaj7
 Is the Richard Gere gerbil story true?
                            D7
Who came third in World War Two?
                     G
Did Sooty sleep with Sue
      Gm7              D
These things I think a-bout
         Asus4    A7
When I'm out with you

(Piano appegio comes in)
D                            Dmaj7
 What are the holes in biros for?
                         D7
Which one's which in The Corrs?
                       G
Did Geoff Hurst really score?
      Gm7              D
Cause frankly you're a bore
        Asus4  A7
And I'm not

(Key change to Am, Piano chords replace appegio)
Dm7          G7
 And if it's le-eaving season
       Cmaj7           Am7
You're second o-on the bill
Dm7           G7
 If you won't le-eave me baby
     E7               F (ring)
I'll find someone who will
F G     Cmaj7 (strum pattern: D,u,D)
I tried love
    F (ring)
I'm sorry
F G     Cmaj7 (strum pattern: D,u,D,D,u,D,u)
I tried lo-o-ove

(Key change back to D, piano appegio)
D                          Dmaj7
 Does God ever get it wrong?
                          D7
Where has Gary Barlow gone?
                        G
Why is Christmas Day so long?
   Gm7              D        Asus4
It just goes on and on and on
     A7
Like you

(Key change to Am, Piano chords replace appegio)
Dm7          G7
 And if it's le-eaving season
           Cmaj7          G/B Am7
You're the se-e-cond o-on the bill
Dm7           G7
 If you won't le-eave me baby
     E7               F
I'll find someone who will
F G     Cmaj7 (strum pattern: D,u,D)
I tried lo-o-ove
    F
I'm sorry
F G     Cmaj7 (strum pattern: D,u,D,D,u,D,u)
I tried love

C B/F#

Key Change to D

Em        A              Dmaj7       G
 Do do do do do do do do Do do do do do
Em        A              F#7         G
 Do do do do do do do do Do do do do do

G A     Dmaj7 (strum pattern: D,u,D)
I tried love
    G
I'm sorry
G A     Dmaj7
I tried lo-o-ove

D                           Dmaj7
 Why is there ketchup on my sleeve?
                              D7
D'you think that Adam fancied Eve?
                          G
What if Eve could not con-ceive?
       Gm                D
And he had to breed with Steve
               A7 (ring)
We'd all be ga-ay
NC
(Laughs)