Football Crazy

I have a favourite brother
And his Christian name is Paul
He's lately joined a football club
For he's mad about football
He's two black eyes already
And teeth lost from his gob
Since Paul became a member of
That terrible football club

For he's football crazy
He's football mad
The football it has taken away
The little bit o' sense he had
And it would take a dozen servants
To wash his clothes and scrub
Since Paul became a member of
That terrible football club

In the middle of the field, one afternoon
The captain says: Now Paul
Would you kindly take this place-kick
Since your mad about football?
So he took forty paces backwards
Shot of from the mark
The ball went sailing o-ver the bar
And landed in New York

For he's football crazy

His wife says she'll leave him
If Paulie doesn't keep
Away from football kicking
At night-time in his sleep
He calls out: 'Pass, McGinty!
And other things so droll
Last night he kicked her out of bed
And swore it was a goal!

For he's football crazy