If You Play Your Cards Wrong

        G                        
If you play your cards wrong, you 
       C
can take me home tonight
D                              C 
You've got all the makings of my 
    D      G
future ex-wife
G                                 
I've got three bucks my credit 
            C
sucks and my future don't look too 
bright
            D                      
so if you play your cards wrong, 
       C        D       G
you can take me home tonight


      Em                   C
Some call me a loser and a lazy 
no-good slob
             Em
I've lost my house, I've got no car
    D
and I can't keep a job
         C                   
but I've got a big heart, and 
      D
another part
Continues after the ad
         Em
Take me home you'll understand
C               D           C    
Because my genitalia looks like a
  D        G
 pringles can


        C               D         
If you play your cards wrong, you 
    Em
can take me home tonight
    C               D             
     C         D
    G
and when I pull my pants down, hey 
you won't believe i'm white
     G                             
and it's been said that I'm mister 
              C
ed, but don't worry I won't bite
        D                        
if you play your cards wrong, you 
     C        D      G
can take me home tonight

      Em
Some call me dishonest
          C
And they say I'm just lying
    Em
But I've peed next to old john 
holmes and
D (let ring)
He started crying.
      C            D
On a sunny day, I've got it made
     Em (let ring)
Get under my wiener if you need 
shade


       C                D         
     C        D
 G
If you play your cards wrong, you 
can take me home tonight
       C                D         
     C        D
 G
If you play your cards wrong, you 
can take me home tonight