My Conservative Girlfriend

G                Bm
She's a real Type A
         C                      D
And she's over-insured
G                Bm
Her favorite castaway
         C                      D
Is Thurston Howell, the third

                  G               
She doesn't like big government so
Bm              C             D
 it's no surprise
   G               Bm      
I can be her lover long as I 
        C             D
downsize

C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C           
Got a tiny little heart full of 
     D
passion
C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C           
Every Friday we go liberal 
     D
bashin'

G                Bm
She's got the Supreme Court (Supreme
 Court)
         C                      D
Tattooed on her rump ('Tude on her 
rump)
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G                        
Beside an autographed port 
                Bm
(Autographed portrait)
               C           D
Of Donald Trump, (Donald Duck)

                  G               
And from the day I checked her out
Bm              C             D
 from front to back
   G               Bm              
I knew her private sector could 
C             D
take up the slack

C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C           
Got a tiny little heart full of 
     D
passion
C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C      
Every weekend we go wilderness 
          D
trashin'

(spoken)
G Bm C D
Oh, baby, I close my eyes and I can 
see you ordering breakfast.
You're having the spotted owl 
omelet...
Whites only.
Come on, baby,
Raise my interest rate, bust my 
union, light my library fire...

(sung)
                  G               
She only deals in quality 
Bm              C             D
narcotics and guns
   G               Bm              
Got a Mexican wallet made from real
C             D
 Mexicans


C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C           
Got a tiny little heart full of 
     D
passion
C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C           
Her white collar and her red 
     D
neck are clashin'
C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C      
Think she's lookin' for a good 
          D
tongue lashin'
C       D        G  Bm
My conservative girlfriend
C      G            C           
Every Sunday we go Medicare 
     D
slashin'