Christmas Is A Bitch

C  C

[Verse]
C                              
Christmas really freaks me out. It 
Em/B
makes me feel alone.
Am                            A
I think that elves are creepy. I'm 
not a fan of snow.
Dm                          G    
Forgive me when I say that 
         C      Fm   G
Christmas is a bitch.
C                                
Chocolate makes my skin breakout.
Em/B
 I don't like decorations.
Am                           A
I'm sick of all these cheesy songs 
that play on every station.
Dm                        G 
I think it's all so whack, but 
                      C       E
people seem to disagree.

[Chorus]
Am                               
The kids wait up for Santa Claus, 
Em
the man with overalls.
F                               F
He eats their milk and cookies, 
                 C/E
must have high cholesterol.
Dm                    G          
But who am I to judge? This guy 
              C         E
is not even real.
Am                              
Cause mistletoe and candy canes, all
Em
 of its so freaking lame.
Continues after the ad
F          C/E         Dm
Sorry if I sound insane.
          C                F   
Christmas sweaters make me itch, 
                     Fm
decorations always glitch,
                          C       
that's why Christmas is a bitch.
Fm    G


[Verse]
        C                          
There's people shopping at the mall
 Em/B
 for phones and big TV's,
Am                      A
wasting all their money on lights 
and Christmas trees,
Dm                  G            
making corporations rich, that's 
                   C       Fm   G
why Christmas is a bitch.
    C                        E
And every time I look around, I see 
a smiling face,
Am        Am/G              F
is this a problem just with me or 
the human race?
             F                     
All of these really annoying songs 
G
that people love to sing.
C                      E
What can I possibly be missing from 
this Christmas thing?

[Chorus]
Am                           Em
Kids wait up for Santa Claus, a 
weird dude with overalls.
F                                 
He eats their milk and cookies, 
           F               
this guy has gotta have high 
C/E
cholesterol.
Dm                          G
But it makes people happy, it makes 
no sense to me.
C                                 
It's a fat guy who breaks into 
        E
your house. It's bullshit.
Am                                
There's mistletoe and candy canes,
   Em
 I find all of this shit so lame.
F                    C/E          
I don't like playing cheerful 
 Dm
games.
        C              F          
If only I could flip a switch, 
                Fm
it's a complicated sitch,
                          C       G
that's why Christmas is a bitch.

[Other]
                              F    
These stupid sweaters make me itch,
                    G
 decorations always glitch,
                          C
that's why Christmas is a bitch.