Tug of War

So this is how I am as the cream begins to clot
While time dances madly with another soothing shot
My thoughts turn to jelly I'm told they taste offensive
Don't complain you're just the same
Denial can be expensive

I wanna stay exactly where I was
I can't imagine the thing I have become
You couldn't comprehend this tug of war
You lost yourself like so many before

The pretty things gather so I gun powder my nose
Black and red embrace me
As judgment comes and goes

I'm walking over egg shells and slipping on the yoke
Condescending my choices and
I'm not laughing at your joke