Glamazonian Airways (Team Trixie)

RuPaul

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    Please pay attention to this pre-flight safety announcement from glamazonian airways!

    Welcome aboard. Glamazonian airways
    Hello everybody! Good evening! Welcome aboard I'm miss valerie valentine
    I'm your economy slash coach stewardess or you could call me a flight attendant
    But I don't care for that word "attendant" cause it makes me sound like a waiter or somebody -- I'm not

    I appreciate your attention at this time. We should be taking off shortly. I would expect all kind of madness and turbulence to ensue
    Please fully recline your chairs, turn on the massage function, and get ready to be happy, hunny

    Welcomee aboard, glamazonian airways, the queens of the sky

    There are 8,000 people on board!

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    Now listen up
    Looking for an exit
    I'll make it clear
    There are two in the front and one in the rear

    You don't give a beep unless you a frequent flyer
    Smoking ain't allowed unless your pussy on fire
    Ohhhh we keep our wigs in the overhead bins (we do)

    Oh, so none of your beep is gonna fit in. (sorry bout it)
    If you drink enough alcohol you can fly anywhere, and you don't need a plane

    There's a seat belt seat belt in each of your seats
    It's there to make you skinny
    It's gonna be pulled real tight, real tight, real tight, real tight
    Tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter...

    Now really that is far too tight. How do you expect anyone to breathe?

    When the oxygen mask drop down
    Soaring through clouds and everyone feels it.
    Sucking it in and out getting so high
    We can't believe it

    All your troubles they'll still be
    Simply come imagination
    Take my hands and fly with me
    On a transworld transportation

    There's a man on the window of the plane
    It's a woman!
    It's a man!
    It's a woman!
    It's a man!

    I believe they call them "drag queens"

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