Partners In Crime

Rupert Holmes

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    She's under-age and she's underweight
    And she's one month hooked and she's two months late
    She comes from Wyoming
    And he named her Desiree

    She hit New York like a farm-fresh egg
    Hits a frying pan, she's too proud to beg
    So she works on the sidewalk
    He administrates her pay

    She calls him Swagger 'cause of his hat
    He adopted her in three seconds flat
    By the bus station doorway
    Where he found her half-alive

    He is her family and in return
    He beats up on her and takes all she can earn
    And she needs him so badly
    Losing him she'd never survive

    Him and her, me and you
    We do it to each other whatever we do
    Hand in hand, arm in arm
    It's always been the two of us doing us harm
    It's the same deal every time
    We're all of us partners in crime

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    She is a buyer for Bloomingdale's
    He's division head of commercial sales
    They met at the office
    Odds we one to one they'd meet

    Work is the great aphrodisiac
    It's that nine-to-five gets 'em in the sack
    Afternoons at the office
    Evenings at the health retreat

    And all day long he just balls her out
    'Bout some shipment due on the air freight route
    But when they leave the office
    Guess who gets the upper hand?

    She's into power, he's into pain
    And beneath her heel, he will long remain
    And he needs her so badly
    Loves it when she takes command

    Him and her, me and you
    We do it to each other whatever we do
    Hand in hand, arm in arm
    It's always been the two of us doing us harm
    It's the same deal every time
    We're all of us partners in crime

    If there's a heaven, if there's a hell
    It's made up of those who we love so well
    And we make hell or heaven
    As we do when we're alive

    Two people meet and they fix their deal
    And they get what they deserve
    And they want the way they feel
    And we need love so badly
    Losing it we'd never survive

    Him and her, me and you
    We do it to each other whatever we do
    Hand in hand, arm in arm
    It's always been the two of us doing us harm
    It's the same deal every time
    We're all of us partners in crime

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