Entry #149

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Okay, yeah
Uh

It's been one hundred forty-nine days
I've thought about you in two hundred forty-nine ways
I guess it's just the dirty tricks my lil' mind plays
I kept the last fight just to 'member how my heart ache
I guess its easier to hate you than to date you
I wish it easier to hate and then erase you
And I got exes that's gon' wish this song about them
Same way I listen to your songs to see if I fit
And after showin' who you are, I still had stayed for you
Deep down, I know if you came back, my feelings changed for you
And lookin' back on aftermath, I should give thanks to you
And I don't wan' know how you doin', still, I pray for you
Truly yours and love foolish, Cyn

I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up

It's been ten thousand forty-nine days
They say with time the pain fades, but the love stays
I'm reminiscin' on when I was in a love daze
When I thought searchin', fittin', moldin' was the love stage
Shit, back when I ain't love myself more than my things
I've thought about this in like way too many damn ways
Okay, so look, see?
Nothin' on this here planet is mine
We just experience what's threaded by the higher design
I'm outta my mind, I'm outta control
And that's okay, I've learned to let go
I'm grateful and lovin' and lettin' it show
And only Heaven could've sent what I've gotten to know
Remember being young and plannin'? We just wanna be grown
To build up the fort and settle the home
The feelin' of full and holy and whole
Of body and soul, a legacy told
And even sat out on that porch, we could never be old
I pray you made it and I want you know, truly yours and still foolish

I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up tryna fight back tears
I'm gettin' beat up