Reviewing The Situation

A man's got a heart, hasn't he?
Joking apart, hasn't he?
And though I'd be the first one to say that I wasn't a saint
I'm finding it hard to be really as black as they paint

I'm reviewing the situation
Can a fellow be a villain all his life?
All the trials and tribulation
Better settle down and make myself a wife

As a wife I would cook and sew for him
And come for him, and go for him
And go for him and nag at him
The fingers I will wag at him
The money I will take from him
A misery, I'll make from him
I think I'd better think it out again!

A wife he can't keep, anyway
I'd rather sleep, anyway
Left without anyone in the world
And I'm starting from now
So how to win friends and to influence people?
So how?

I'm reviewing the situation
I must quickly look up ev'ryone I know
Titled people, with a station
Who can help me make a real impressive show!

I will own a suite at Claridges
And run a fleet of carriages
And wave at all the duchesses
With friendliness, as much as is
Befitting of my new estate
Good morning to you, Magistrate!
I think I'd better think it out again

I'm reviewing the situation
I'm a bad 'un and a bad 'un I shall stay!
You'll be seeing no transformation
But it's wrong to be a rogue in ev'ry way

I don't want nobody hurt for me
Or made to do the dirt for me
This rotten life is not for me
It's getting far too hot for me
There is no in between for me
But who will change the scene for me?
I think I'd better think it out again!