Knives Chau

I only ever date older than me because in primary school
They said I was mature so when I overestimate how committed I’ll be
It’s because I don’t know what it means to be sure

But loving is giving so I give more and more
And I whore my whole self out for a crush
It always felt forbidden but that’s what draws and draws
And I pour my whole self out for a touch
They said that I was pretty but pretty doesn’t mean hot

Bleach my hair, dye my skin, colonise the bones I'm in
Everybody only ever wants cracked china
Nowadays a salvos only place to find em because porcelain untouched
Too beautiful to be loved, not safe for work
When heavy hands are holding onto delicacy tongues

So I rinse and repeat till I forget how to eat
Still obsessing over not getting older and guessing
How a cold shoulder could mean anything that it’s not
I'm waiting waiting for them to say that they like me
They’re fading fading like they’re already behind me

Love isn’t fulfilling when it falls and falls
So I haul my whole self out of a crush
Because I was never willing to be bored
I'm bored so my infatuation's all out of touch

They said that I was pretty but pretty doesn’t mean hot
My split ends are getting frizzy, but my roots are never gonna stop

Bleach my hair, dye my skin, colonise the bones I'm in
Everybody only ever wants cracked china
Nowadays a salvos only place to find em because porcelain untouched
Too beautiful to be loved, not safe for work
When heavy hands are holding onto delicacy tongues

Learned what I needed to be, watching white girls on TV
Overhearing conversations underneath a supermarket aisle
Labels intercept encouragement with poison hidden in their bile

That’s a life that’s not mine, she is not my design
If it’s yours, that’s fine, but I am defined by my own alignments, a stereotype’s comparative
No power of the imperative, your aspirational narrative

Everybody only ever wants cracked china
Nowadays a salvos only place to find em because porcelain untouched
Too beautiful to be loved, not safe for work
When heavy hands are holding onto delicacy tongues