G Em C D Unfortunately I am G Em C D D#m My own dog, my own fur companion Em A My own old lady on a forum C D Who types in glittery decorum G Em C D Unfortunately I take G Em C D D#m Myself out walking every day Em A I hand my legs to the feet and C D I give my head to the leash [Estribillo] Am D Every other day I’m wondering G E7 What’s a human being gotta be like Am D What’s a way to just be competent G E7 These sweet instincts ruin my life Am D Every other day I’m wondering G E7 Was it a mistake to try and define Am D What I’m certain’s mad incompetence G E7 These sweet instincts ruin my life [Segunda Parte] G Em C D I can't smell well, or tell the time G Em C D Not K through 8, nor K - 9 Em A (For human, grossly underqualified C D For canine, grossly overqualified) G Em C D I don’t blend in at Pet-Smart G Em C D That truth remains for the Walmart Em A 'Cause in either case they say to me C D "What the fuck is lost in aisle 3?" [Estribillo] Am D Every other day I’m wondering G E7 What’s a human being gotta be like Am D What’s a way to just be competent G E7 These sweet instincts ruin my life Am D Every other day I’m wondering G E7 Was it a mistake to try and define Am D What I’m certain’s mad incompetence G E7 These sweet instincts ruin my life