What If?

Water is getting into my arch diming out lights - until dark
Thought my construction was tight thought what i built up might stand the flood
Stand the flood phrases bearing a questionmark are trying to board my barque
Again i start thinking what could have been what might have been
If i made up my mind in a different way what could have been
If i made you stay again i start thinking what do they mean
What do they mean all these words like "but" and "if" haunting my brain
What does it mean when all the doubts come up again
Remembering me: what should have been what could have been
What if i've followed my vision what if i've sat on the fence
If i took a different decision if i felt a change of sense
Too many things i can't change too many setups i can't rearrange
Too many unknown lamentos i'm singing of key should i've thought of myself
Or of the pain inside climbing up the ladder i was put out of the stride
Should i've tried harder banish my doubts! what do they mean
These words like "faith" and "love" bereft of their meaning
When push comes to shove what might have been
If i made up my mind in a different way what might have been
If i made you stay what might have been