Antifreeze and Chocolate Biscuits

Lose our morals each December
Promise each year we’ll be better
All our good intentions
Forgotten like an extra
Bottle of lynx shower gel that I didn’t even ask for and Auntie Val's given me again
Relatives come out of the woodwork
Carol singers make my head hurt
Death by cringe John Lewis adverts

At Christmas
Since the magic has faded
Everybody gets wasted
At Christmas
When you're crying to Slade
With your sad Tinder date
At the annual office party
We’re all just desperate aren’t we
At Christmas
Granny’s tipsy on the good wine
We’re all arguing by lunchtime
Call me ungrateful
Got a mug from James that looks suspiciously like the one we gave him last year, what a joke

Relatives come out of the woodwork
Carol singers make my head hurt
Death by cringe John Lewis adverts
At Christmas
Since the magic has faded
Everybody gets wasted
At Christmas
When you're crying to Slade
With your sad Tinder date
At the annual office party
We’re all just desperate aren’t we
At Christmas
Dead mistletoe
Scrap in Tesco
Dad burnt the roast
Bad cracker joke
Omnibus soaps
Mince pies are gross
All of our hopes
Lost in the post
Transport is a no go
Bought my presents from the Esso
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
Here's some antifreeze and chocolate biscuits

You shouldn't have
You actually shouldn't have
At Christmas
Since the magic has faded
Everybody gets wasted
At Christmas
When you're crying to Slade
With your sad Tinder date
At the annual office party
We’re all just desperate aren’t we
At Christmas