Complications of the Modern Single

George: Do you have the herpes?
Jonny: Do you have the clap?
George: Do you drink too much?
Jonny: Are your teeth capped?
George: Well let's just forget it.
Jonny: Why do we even try?
George: Why don't you call me?
Jonny: Oh, why don't you drop by?
George: My car's in the shop.
Jonny: Well, my phone's not paid.
George: I'm tired of this shit.
Jonny: It's so hard to get laid.

Together: Complicated problems of the modern single,
it's so tough trying to get by.
Complicated problems of the modern single,
you'll never know 'til your crying stops.

George: There's other girls out there.
Jonny: I'm sure I can find a man.
George: What about my things?
Jonny: Did you check the trash can?
George: Can't we make this simple?
Jonny: Can't we sort this out?
George: I don't really see a problem
Jonny: and that's why I threw you out.
George: You think you're the only one
Jonny: You're just trying to rip my heart
George: I'm only being honest, baby
Jonny: I was bored from the start.
George: You ever wash your crotch?
Jonny: Oh, I thought that smell was you!
George: Do you ever seem to be swell?
Jonny: I don't know...I never do.