Blowing The Payload

Starbomb

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    A group of legendary warriors
    They're world-renowned
    Overwatch, bitch!
    Their power’s known all around
    Pushin' on the payload
    Is part of their plan
    From Gibraltar, and then
    Hanamura, Japan

    Their power is tested
    Wherever they go
    Rockets, bullets
    You name it, bro
    They've never been stopped
    Or met their match
    A mission’s arrived
    So heroes, dispatch!

    Hi, can you help me?
    My car's broken down
    The engine's all busted
    I can't get my ass around
    I need some friends to get
    My vehicle out of the traffic
    You guys look like the best
    With all your fancy fuckin' tactics

    Without hesitation, they
    Begin the migration
    Reinhardt pushes from behind
    Traffic's redirected as
    Mei is unaffected
    By cars honking loudly
    Combined

    Bastion transforms into
    A giant fuckin' turret and
    Blows all the drivers away
    Pharah flies up high and
    Rockets start to fly
    As the overpass crumblin' okay

    Holy fuckin’ shit
    That was a little overkill
    But what do you expect
    From the best?
    The phone’s ringing
    Off the hook
    For another job to book
    So let's see where we end up next

    Hi I need assistance
    I’m a 13-year-old girl
    If you would help me
    I would be so happy
    I would fuckin' twirl
    Got a wagon filled with lemons
    And uh, moving it's a pain
    I need your skills or
    No one's fuckin’ getting lemonade today

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    Boom!
    Our heroes get on the case
    Zarya is lifting up the wagon
    To her fuckin' face
    Everyone is scramblin'
    To clear out any space
    So they can quickly get the payload
    To the meeting place

    Lucio plays some music to
    Calm the girl
    Junkrat shoots grenades
    To blow up a squirrel
    A stranger pulls out his phone
    To call the cops
    Then upon him
    Doomfist Meteor Drops

    People are screamin'
    Blood is flyin' everywhere
    Bullets are soarin'
    And zippin' all through the air
    It's a pure bloodbath
    But the wagon's delivered
    Our heroes take their leave
    As Courtney fuckin' shivers

    Another mission successful
    Our heroes always thrive
    Lookee here, another call
    For a payload's arrived

    Hi, can you help me?
    I'm a very old lady
    My shitty hip replacement
    Just ain't enough to aid me
    Your gang looks like a big bunch
    Of sexy hunks of meat
    Now help these 90-year-old buttcheeks
    Get across the street

    Like a lightning bolt
    Tracer's on the scene
    Hold's her hand and says
    Take all the time you need
    With little itty-bitty steps
    The mission is clean
    Until it starts to pour
    Completely unforeseen

    D. Va flies above
    And shoots the clouds
    Bullets rain down
    Into every house
    Mei starts a blizzard to
    Stop the rain
    But inflicts upon the neighborhood
    Torturous pain

    To warm the place
    Orisa pierces the ground
    Letting lava leak out
    Spreading all around
    Everyone is screaming now
    It's a horrible sound
    So Lucio DJ's
    To drown it out

    Halfway across the road
    The old lady falls
    Zenyatta throws out
    One of his healing balls
    She smashes her face
    But it's A-OK
    'Cause Ana throws
    A motherfuckin' healing grenade

    Eventually
    They end up getting across
    The old lady's so grateful
    She is at a loss
    Or maybe she's unconscious
    We could never know
    Because onward to their next
    Mission they go

    Nope
    She's dead
    Alright

    Bye

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