Twisted - No One Remembers Achmed

        F
In your homeland you're a legend
        Cadd9
All the people know your name
       Bb                          
On the battlefield and off you are 
      F
superior

Achmed:
(Spoken) I know.
        Gm
In the kingdom though I'm finding
        Gm/F#
that my only claim to fame
      Bb                   
is an incident involving my 
    C
posterior

Soldiers:
Bb C
Posterior

Achmed:
(Spoken) Please.
         F
I've won scores of bloody wars
    F7         A
And mopped the floors with my foes
    D5               F
But no one remembers Achmed
F7    Bb
I've eviscerated peasants
           D5
From their heads down to their toes
    G5                  C5
But no one remembers Achmed
       Dsus2
Say my name in these parts
           Gm                Gm7
And you'll get a vacant stare
   G7
Until you mention tigers
   C
Or spotted underwear

Soldiers:
C                 B5 C5
Spotted underwear!

Achmed:
        F
So to restore my repute
      A
As a fierce fearsome brute,
        Eb               D7
There's only one route I see
             Gm           C7
Arrange the slaughter of millions
   A7         Dsus4 D
Of innocent civil - ians
Gm             C      F
Then they'll remember me


F F/E D5 C5 x5
(Dialogue)


Soldiers: (Alternating)   (Achmed:)
         F
Caked in mud or drenched in blood
Continues after the ad
             F
You smell as fresh as a flower
((Spoken) I guess.)
    F                       C
But no one remembers Achmed
         Gm
You can pleasure sixty concubines
    Gm
In only an hour ((Spoken) Less!)
    Gm               G5
But no one remembers Achmed

Achmed:
A7   Dm
Back home I was a hero
        Gm
Ladies trembled when I spoke
     G
But here the women treats me
       C
Like a throwaway joke

Soldiers:
C7
Throw him away

Achmed:
      F
I'm a god on Earth but darnit
      A
Even deities incarnate
         Eb              D7  
Now and then can feel a little 
     Gm
insecure

Soldiers:
    F5
Insecure

Achmed:
(Gm)  Em7
All I want is some affection
      A7
This rejection's almost
               Dm
Too much to endure...

Soldiers:
     Bb           D7
To endure Look at all he must endure

Gm G/F# E5 D5 x2
F F/E D5 C5 x8
(Dialogue)


Soldiers:
F  F/E Dm  (C) F
You    ooze    sex when you flex
        A  A/G   F5   E5
Those impeccable pecs

Achemd:
        Dm  Dm/C            Cm7
But the princess rejects me still
        Bb  Bb/A    Gm Gm/F
She may not love me yet
        D          D7
But I'm willing to bet
            Gm            Bb      
That once I kill all her people 
   C
she will...

Soldiers:
Yes she will
Yes she absolutely will

Achmed:
         Dm
Let them laugh, that's just fine
        Dm/C
But the last laugh will be mine

All:
            Dm6/B                  
'Cause they can't laugh when 
      Bb
they're all dead
     Gm            C      C7
I'll make them all regret
             Am          Dm
The day they chose to forget

Achmed:
                     Gm        C
(Spoken) What's that name everyone?

Soldiers:
      Bb
Tiger-fucker!

Achmed:
(Spoken) No!
                F    F/E          
(Spoken) Like I said, what's that 
Dm   C
name?

Soldiers:
            Gm         C
You're the cock of the walk
            Am         D7
With abs as hard as a rock
      Gm             C        F  
Nevermore will they mock you 
   F/E
Achmed

Soldier:
D/F#    D7             Gm Gm/F Bb C7
     He fucked a tiger

Achmed:
(Spoken) I did not fuck a tiger!

Soldiers:
                 F   A  Dm
They'll remember Achmed...
          C      F   A  Dm
They'll remember Achmed...
          C      F  A  Dm C#5 C7
They'll remember Achmed...

Achmed:
                 F
They'll remember me...

Soldiers:
F
Tiger fucker, Tiger fucker, Achmed 
is a tiger fucker!
Bb
They'll remember Achmed
                  F
The tiger fucking man!