History Lesson

Stephen Lynch

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    Stephen:
    I have to redo the vocals for Medieval Bush.
    Friends:
    Why?
    Stephen:
    Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century.
    Friends:
    Wait! So how do you know this?
    Stephen:
    Cause I used to be a teacher.
    Friends:
    (Laugh)You used to be a teacher?
    Stephen:
    Yes
    Friend:
    Professor?
    Stephen:
    No, I taught elementary school and I got fired for I had an unorthodox way of teaching. In which I would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids.
    Friend:
    Of course you did.
    Stephen:
    Okay, okay let me find a lesson for you... Ben Franklin
    "Ben Franklin went out one night,
    Tied a key to the end of a kite,
    Electricity struck so bright,
    Write it down muthafuckas"
    Friends:
    You called the kids motherfuckers?
    Stephen:
    Some of them were motherfuckers yes.
    Friends:
    Science
    Stephen:
    Um...
    "Issac Newton sat under a tree,
    An apple hit him in the head so he,
    Said holy shit that's gravity,
    So write it down muthafuckas"
    I have a million of theses.
    Friends:
    Pilgrims
    Stephen:
    Okay... hey...
    "Pilgrims raced against the clock,
    Lookin for a place to dock,
    They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,
    Write it down muthafuckas."
    Friends:
    I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy.
    Stephen:
    I'm not implying anything.
    Friend:
    Wright Brothers
    Stephen:
    Uh...
    "A dude named Orville Wright,
    Told his brother lets invinflight,
    So Wilbur said "ight",
    Write it down muthafuckas"
    Yes, he said "ight"
    Friend:
    Wilbur said "ight"?
    Stephen:
    In my story he did.
    Friend:
    Wilbur was street in your story?
    Stephen:
    Yes
    Friend:
    Word
    Stephen:
    See, you can't stump me
    Friend:
    Slavery?
    Stephen:
    Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...
    "Abe Lincoln lead the nation,
    Freed slaves form the plantations,
    Inmansa-muthafucka-proclamation,
    Write it down anaem-ops."
    Friend:
    Gandhi!
    Stephen:
    Uh... I did not have one for him. Uh... hold on, hold on. Gandhi... Uh... alright.
    (Slowly) "Gandhi is what you said,
    An Indian with a bald head,
    He was a bit under fed,
    Write is down muthafuckas!"
    Fried from that job!
    Friend:
    Your a genius.

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    Composición: Stephen Lynch

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