Down To The Old Pub Instead

G                     D
Lad it's your duty to find you a lass
     C                        D
with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass
    G                     D                 C     D
And make her you wife and love her with love so true
          G                     D
Now, some rivers run high some rivers run low
         C                         D
When her river runs red then she starting her flow
         G                       D                       C    D
And it's called menstruation and heres what I means to you
         Em                      C
You will notice her bloomers are spartie? At first
      G                 D
Stand back, her ovarian dams gonna burst
   Em                      C
So don't be afraid it’s a natural thing
     G                      D
Just wind up some cotton and give her some string
C
Put the old linens on top of the bed
    C                        D
get out of the house and go down to the old pub

  G     D   C   D
instead.


Continues after the ad
[Verse 2]

       G                     D
She'll retain her water her breasts will be tender
    C                         D
And every third word that you say will offend her
    G                       D                     C      D
Get out of the house and go  down to the old pub instead
           G                         D
And she'll want to make love if you do you’re a  fool
             C                  D
Cause you'll only end up with a bloody ol’ tool
    G                    D                     C      D
Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead
           Em                     C
And she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
    G                         D
But son it'll taste like some old rusty coins
   Em                          C
So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat
    G                         D
And drop to your knees say a prayer to st pat

     C
Then he'll give you the strength to get out of the bed
        C                  D
And for Ireland's sake go down to the old pub

  G     D   C   D
instead.


[Verse 3]

        Em                         C
Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting
G                            D
When the moon's full and the girls are a bleatin
    Em                        C
The catholic, the protestant even the pagan
    G                          D
The pub is the place when lady is raggin
   C
So drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks
        C
That as men folk we don't have to bleed from our cocks
         C
And that we can escape from the lady in red
        C                       D
And get out of the house and go down to the old pub
E|------------3---| 
B|----------3-----| 
G|--------0-------| 
D|------0---------| 
A|----2-----------| 
E|--3-------------| 

  instead.