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    I bought a gerbil
    At the petting zoo
    If Richard Gere can do it
    I can too
    I get undress
    I start to lube
    I stick the gerbil at the end of the tube
    Wondering just how he'll feel
    Will he like it better than his little wheel
    Careful now he's right beside me
    One more inch and he's inside me
    Goooo, gerbil, go
    Burrow harder, burrow deeper
    be my little chimney sweeper
    one thing i forgot about
    how am i supposed to get you out
    so now my gerbil is on easy street
    its more than cozy and theres plenty to eat
    got to find a way to get him out of his hole
    i tried crobars i tried wires
    i almost had him with a pair of plyers
    i tried cheese but he's not biting
    i wish this wasn't so exciting
    Goooo, gerbil, go
    Jesus, I am such a sucker
    Please get out you furry f***er
    I think I am getting ill
    Suddenly he is very very still
    Now its too late
    My gerbil died
    I guess I have committed gerbicide
    Here's some advice its very clear cutt
    If you love your gerbil
    Don't stick him up your butt
    Don't stick him up your butt
    Little furry gerbil in your booty hole
    And a happy birthday too and thanks!

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    Song details

    Composition: Stephen Lynch

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