Peanuts

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D|------7-----7-----5----5--------
A|------5-----7-----3----5--------
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    F     G
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Intro/Verse:
Ab Am Gb Gm   Gb/Ab   <--slide 
from Gb to Ab

Chorus:
Ab Am Gb Gm  <--slightly 
different strumming pattern

Verse 1:
Ab                  Am
Charlie Brown had a big block head
        Gb                   Gm   
wore a stripey sweater every day
  Gb/Ab

Ab                       Am
Always tried to kick the football
          Gb                     
but Lucy pulled the motherfucker 
Gm    Gb/Ab
away
Ab                   Am
Flew a kite just to try to relax
        Gb                       
but he always put that shit in a 
Gm    Gb/Ab
tree
Ab                 Am
And a cute little redheaded girl
         Gb                        
wouldn't give no play to poor Chuck
Gm
 B.

Prechorus 1:
F                                 
They were the baddest fuckers in 
         G               Gb/Ab
the funny papers PEANUTS!

Verse 2:
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Onto a security blanket
Linus himself would latch
Snuggle into that bitch to keep warm
while waiting in the pumpkin patch
Had a stalker named Sally Brown
and she always tried to get her some
She loved how he knew the meaning of
 Christmas
and the sexy way he sucked that 
thumb.

Prechorus 2:
Marmaduke can lick it Garfield is a 
pussy PEANUTS!

Chorus 1:
Ab Am       Gb     Gm
Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
Ab         Am          Gb    Gm
A bunch of kids trying to be free
Ab      Am        Gb     Gm
Take my hand, and let's dance now
Ab     Am              Gb        
Under Charlie's shitty Christmas 
Gm
tree
F                        G          
  Gb/Ab   (back to verse)
(no lyrics here............) 
PEANUTS!


Oh, Marcy was best friends
with Patty, Patty Peppermint
She would love to do things to that 
girl
that Charles M. Schultz can't print
Pigpen was a dusty dude
who couldn't keep his own ass clean
All the teachers said wah wah wah 
wah
wah wah what does that shit mean?

Well Big Bird ain't the only yellow 
bird in town WOODSTOCK!

Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
Poor Charlie Brown you will never 
get laid
'Cause it's hard to get pussy
when you're the baldest kid in 
second grade

Lucy was a psychiatrist
but her comments always gave offense
And the bitch couldn't make no money
'cause she charge a motherfucker 
five cents
You know all the ladies love 
Schroeder
'cause he spun them '88s real good
and Franklin was a real cool cat
but the only brother in that hood

Sometimes you have to shout good 
grief unto the heavens GOOD GRIEF!

Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
Snoopy fly your plane and fly it 
quick
You're the World War II flying ace
Make Red Baron suck that Beagle dick

Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
A bunch of kids trying to be free
Take my hand, and let's dance now
under Charlie's shitty Christmas 
tree