Whittilin Man

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  In the woods of Northern 
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Michigan, he made his home
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  Didn't ask much from the 
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world, just wanted to be alone
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  He got his first real blade at
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 thirteen; that's when it all began
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  And soon the creatures of the 
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forest called him "Whittlin' Man" - 
yeah!

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  He whittled all day and he 
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whittled all night
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  He whittled, whittled, whittled 
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everything in sight
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  He whittled on a stick and he 
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whittled on his shoe
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  And if you come too close, gonna 
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whittle you too

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  Keep a safe distance if you can
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                       A#        
  'Cause you're never safe around 
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Whittlin' Man

  Had a stump to sit on; had some 
wood, had his trusty knife
  Whittled out a house, a car, and 
he whittled himself a wife(Such a 
beautiful wife!)
  Whittled out four kids, a swimming
 pool and a big leer jet
  And so he wouldn't miss Saved By 
The Bell, when he whittled a T.V. 
set - yeah!


  He'd whittle if its light, and 
he'd whittle if its dark
  And if Noah was around, well he'd 
whittle him an ark
  He'd whittle something new and 
he'd whittle something old
  He'd whittle something hot and 
he'd whittle something rather chilly


  Keep a safe distance if you can
 'Cause you're never safe around 
Whittlin' Man


  Some say "Whittlin' Man's a 
genius", still others say "He's just
 dumb"
  He whittled off a foot, an ear, 
three fingers and his left thumb... 
Boy, is he dumb!
  That won't stop him, no it won't -
 he'll whittle through thick and 
thin
  And once he's whittled everything,
 he'll just whittle it all again - 
yeah!


  He'd whittle if it's white, and 
he'd whittle if it's black
  And he'd whittle on a duck 'til 
the duck can't quack
  He'd whittle if it's dry, and he'd
 whittle if it's juicy
  Whittled on Desi and he whittled 
on Lucy
  Whittled JFK and he whittled 
Jackie O
  Whittled old Larry and Curly and 
Moe
  And he whittled Frank Zappa and he
 whittled Tipper Gore
  Whittle, whittle, whittle 'til he 
can't no more
  Whittled Shamu and he'd whittle on
 Jaws
  Whittled the Easter Bunny and he 
whittled Santa Claus
  He'll whittle, whittle, whittle 
just fast as he can
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  Whittle till he's dead - he's 
             A
the Whittlin' Man...